Being an avid goer of hostels as well as volunteering at one for a month made me very attune to the very regular types of people who come in and out of hostels. Almost spooky stereotypes of how similar we all really are.
- Those three random German girls that don’t speak to anyone
And for some reason dress very similar too? They kind of just hang out with themselves, make a point of being a trio and not engaging with anyone else, so don’t even try. Usually in similar outfits, one item of clothing they’ll have purchased from their travels.
2. The one old guy who’s constantly complaining
It’s very close to a ‘back in my day’ story but it ends up being multiple comparisons to the time he went to Europe or the hostel he was at somewhere else that had better service, better facilities, he’s usually met with a constant eye-roll or people literally walking in the opposite direction to avoid him. Often walks around just in boxers.
One time I volunteered at a hostel and there was one old polish man who was already ridiculously demanding, until one day he caught a stomach bug and wow, just call me ‘Nurse Lena’ because I guess that’s what I am now.
I mean, the older I get the more I realise not everyone has money to stay in fancy hotels, including older people, but then why do they choose to stay at hostels filled with young people? (Wait, are all hostels filled with young people?) but seriously, if you’re not going to shell out the extra money for a hostel, lower your expectations significantly. And don’t be a dick.
3. The 2 solo travellers that bond immediately
A love/friend story that stands the test of time. This isn’t funny it’s just adorable – I have feelings too!
4. The guy who’s pretty much been living there for 3 weeks and doesn’t really leave the hostel ever
He swears he’s leaving tomorrow, “bag’s packed! I’m going!” But you’ll probably find him in the communal areas on his phone or at reception booking another night since he’s too hungover to leave. Also sometimes volunteers even though he’s a paying customer, kind of just likes the attention. Usually wears boardshorts.
5. The guy who’s a little bit too old for hostels but insists on joining in on everyone else’s plans
Reminds me of Steve Buschemi “Hello fellow kids”, wants to know what everyone’s up to. Always wants to get day drunk with someone, just to taste the greatness he once felt as a young man. He’s always the guy at the bar til 3am and somehow finds himself at the after party which no one told him about?
6. The person who brags about every single country they’ve been to and the amazing times they’ve had in Guatemala with a rural village tribe
Has a travel blog, claims to be an influencer but, not really. Once heard them say that she can’t relate to anyone anymore because she’s so well travelled. (this really happened) UGH. Probably has a ‘wanderlust’ tattoo. Wants a stray dog to travel with her.
7. Those 3 Australian guys who are always drunk or hungover
Don’t emerge from the dorm til around 11am, when they do, it’s to tell people how hungover they are. Usually seen later drinking again around 2pm. Rinse and repeat.
8. That one American guy who refuses to learn the language but has somehow been in the country for 2 years?
“Pwe-do… have… un…eggs, por favor? Muchimos grass-e-ass”
Or doesn’t even try. “Hi, yeah, um I’ll have 2 eggs on my breakfast thank you.”
9. The guy who plays the guitar – sometimes the same American guy.
“…and now… here’s wonderwall. Lol. just kidding, here’s The Smiths.” He’s also the same guy that hogs a joint for 15 minutes while he enlightens everyone about the time he trekked through Nepal alone.